Alright, so I’m a teenager. And to clarify, as I’m stupid and totally didn’t realize it, I’m a girl. Yeah? Cool.
Anyway, everyday on my way to class I encounter at least two couples stopping randomly in the hallway to make out with each other. And most of the time conversation seems to revolve around who’s dating who and why that guy is cute, but that guy is not. I’m so lost.
I do not like anyone. I appreciate cuteness, and secretly admire certain people, but that doesn’t really bring on any feeling of ‘liking’ that people seem to have described to me. I’ve never had a boyfriend, never been kissed before. Yes, I’ve been asked out before. Yes, boys have shown interest in me. Yes, I’ve shoved each and every one of them out of the way quite purposefully. Why? I mean, I want to have a boyfriend. Eventually, at least. I would like to fall in love.
But I’m super busy, academically-focused, and dream-driven. Maybe that’s it - I really don’t have time for romantic interests. But still, come on, I got to have someone I secretly am crushing on. Nope, not really. I really count on personality; which I suppose is a good thing. Maybe I’m just one of those soul mate looking for types. I don’t know, but I feel left out of certain conversations.
I don’t even really have any male idols I like. Or celebrities, whatever they’re called. (Mainly because they’re all pretty much too old, never going to happen, and jerks.) Cute, yes, but still not something.
My dream guy probably exists only in my imagination. Or lives on the other side of the universe and I’ll never ever get to meet him (and most likely speaks a different language). Lol.
What is this post anyway? A rant? A cry for help? Nah, I don’t know. Just my own musings on my lack of…love. I can’t help but feel heartless every time I push someone away. Could I be scared of getting hurt? *contemplates* I guess, but that’s still not good enough of a reason I think. I don’t know.
Who even is reading this? Haha. <3